I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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