is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
