maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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