Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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