My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
