i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
