But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize