O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
