someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
