whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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