i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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