i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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