We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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