Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
