How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
