I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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