i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
