That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
