I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
