Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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