you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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