Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize