I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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