the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
