In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
