'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
