I don't think brook has ever known best
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
