I love black thongs
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
