do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
