dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
