I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He keeps bees of course he's weird
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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