Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
