yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
