I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize