Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
