You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i dont even know how to be here
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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