i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize