True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
