I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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