I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
