Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
