p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
