my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
