rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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