It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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