Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
