We're like a lot better than the average bears
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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