just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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