My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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