Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
