On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize