There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
