I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize