like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
