Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
