Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.

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(207): View more from Maine

I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.

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(425): View more from Washington

i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea

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(386): View more from Florida

I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok

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(509): View more from Washington

We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler

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(905): View more from Ontario

You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"

(1-905): View more from Ontario

He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.

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(904): View more from Florida

...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.

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