tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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