What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Holy shit dude........stairs
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