He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Apparently you make a good broom.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
