A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
