i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
one might say we're banned from that church
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
