Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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