Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
