she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
