Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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