yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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