Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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