The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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