you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
